The Waiting Room
Numbers 9:22a
Whether it was two days, or a month, or a longer time, that the cloud continued over the tabernacle, abiding there, the people of Israel remained in camp and did not set out.
A dark cloud of providence has been brooding over my home this week, not moving onward, not dissipating, and not letting much sunlight pass through, because yesterday marked the due date of our precious Shiloh who the LORD chose to call home at nine weeks.
It seems like just last week my wife and I were in the doctor’s office eagerly waiting to hear Shiloh’s little heartbeat for the first time, only to have that unspeakable silence meet us on the other end of the screen. Two weeks later, we arrived back for the second sonogram reading and our hearts leapt for joy at the undeniable rhythm of life pulsating through the once-mute screen, our revived hope pulsating with it. The new doctor, sharing our joy, told us to forget all the previous doctor’s warnings and prepared us to move forward. But the sunburst of that day didn’t last long. A week later, the cloud was back and blacker than ever. Starting with the sudden onset of my wife’s terrifying physical complications, it ended in a late-night rush to the ER where the miscarriage was confirmed and a surgery was needed.
The pilgrims in this commonwealth didn’t know why God chose to advance sometimes after only a night of camping and sometimes after months, and I’m sure they often begged Him to move when He stood still or begged Him to stay put when He moved forward. But learning to pray, “Father, not my will but Yours be done,” is imperative for spiritual progress. If we move before God moves, we’ll get lost. And if we stay behind when God moves, we’ll get lost too. Which is why I believe that it’s better to be confused and even angry in the will of God than it is to be blissful and happy outside it.
God always has perfect reasoning and perfect timing, friend. Even if you don’t presently feel that, believe it! If you go where He goes and stay where He stays, you’ll be far better off a day from now, and a year from now, and a lifetime from now, when the cloud clears.