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Leading Without Pretending

by Stephen Davey Scripture Reference: 1 Thessalonians 2:1–16

We tend to measure success in ministry by numbers, dollars, and buildings. What we really should be looking at is character, attitudes, commitments, and responses. Paul’s own ministry in the city of Thessalonica shows us what Christ-honoring ministry looks like.

Transcript

You might be surprised—then, again, you might not—that over 50 percent of people in one survey admitted to having lied on their resume or job application. Some of the most common lies involve work experience and even academic degrees.[1] I read some time ago of the president of a university who was discovered to have lied about her education—she had never earned a PhD, after all.

I have read of politicians and celebrities who have been exposed for recounting military service they never performed, claiming medals they never earned, or telling tales about things that never happened to make themselves look better. This practice has even taken on a name: “stolen valor.”[2] All these people use deception to try to gain some advantage in their career or to simply impress other people.

I cannot imagine how people live like this—always afraid of being discovered for who they really are. They are pretending; they are living a lie, which means they have to tell more lies and then remember their lies in order to cover them up—by telling even more lies.

My missionary father used to tell us boys that if you tell the truth, you will not have to remember everything you have said. Just keep telling the truth.

Now as we set sail into 1 Thessalonians 2, Paul is responding to accusations that he was not telling the truth—that he might have something to hide. And the apostle is going to respond by simply telling the truth about his past ministry among them. He has nothing to hide.

He begins in verse 1: “For you yourselves know, brothers, that our coming to you was not in vain.” In other words, their work in Thessalonica had not been a waste of time, and the Thessalonians knew this. Indeed, they were witnesses to the change that had come in their own lives through Paul’s ministry.

Paul reminds them that he had already “suffered and been shamefully treated at Philippi” (verse 2). Paul was not looking for a comfortable life. He goes on to counter the accusation that he was impurely motivated in his ministry, writing, “Our appeal does not spring from error or impurity or any attempt to deceive” (verse 3).

There were people accusing Paul of wanting to gather a personal following so that he diluted his teaching and told them what they wanted to hear. Well, beloved, there are a lot of preachers doing that in every generation, but Paul settles that score with this response in verses 5-6:

We never came with words of flattery, as you know, nor with a pretext for greed—God is witness. Nor did we seek glory from people . . . though we could have made demands as apostles of Christ.

Paul says, “You know that I could have had a following as an apostle; I could have pushed my weight around as an apostle and gotten better treatment.” Instead, Paul reminds them in verse 7 of his past ministry, when he was “gentle among [them], like a nursing mother taking care of her own children.”

His was a ministry characterized by patience and selflessness and love as Paul and his missionary team cared for these people.

I know of a gifted pastor who became rather famous. Near the end of his ministry, a large church approached him to become their pastor/teacher. He agreed on one condition. He said he was tired of people, and he would agree to become the pastor of the church only if he would never have to meet with people. And, sadly, if you can believe it, the church agreed. For the next few years, he would show up to preach and then go wait in his office or a classroom until all the people had left. His ministry legacy was tarnished as a result of that decision.

Well, Paul is not tarnishing his legacy, and he certainly is not avoiding people. He describes a ministry that every pastor and church leader should model in verse 8:

We were ready to share with you not only the gospel of God [Paul is saying, “We were not only ready to preach our sermons to you”] but also our own selves, because you had become very dear to us.

I know a lot of preachers today who love to preach. Paul is saying here that he loves the people to whom he preaches. That is a world of difference.

Then Paul writes this:

Remember . . . our labor and toil: we worked night and day, that we might not be a burden to any of you, while we proclaimed to you the gospel of God. (verse 9)

This review and reminder make it clear that there is no reason why the Thessalonians should be persuaded by troublemakers that Paul and his missionary team were not genuine servants of God.

He summarizes their history, writing in verse 10, “You are witnesses, and God also, how holy and righteous and blameless was our conduct toward you believers.” Paul is not saying they were perfect. He is simply saying that they had dedicated themselves to conforming their lifestyles to a holy standard—in a blameless manner. Beloved, they did not want anyone to be able to level a legitimate accusation against them.[3] They did not want to be like that university president who never earned a PhD, or the military veteran who pretended to have earned the Medal of Honor. These Thessalonians know by now that Paul never pretended.

With that, Paul changes his analogy from that of an affectionate mother to that of a caring father. Here in verses 11-12, he focuses on three actions a caring father performs in the lives of his children.

Paul writes first, “For you know how, like a father with his children, we exhorted each one of you.” He made sincere appeals to them to live a certain way.

Second, Paul writes, “[We] encouraged you.” The word for “encouraged” can be translated “comforted.” Paul is like a gracious father who puts his arms around his children and encourages them along the way.

Third, Paul says, “[We] charged you to walk in a manner worthy of God.” The word for “charged” means “to urge.” Paul is like a coach who tells his players to give it everything they have!

Paul’s words here describe a model, not only for church leaders, but also for parents. As caring mothers and gracious fathers, we will be appealing to, exhorting, and encouraging our children at home—and we should be doing the same for our brothers and sisters in Christ.

This was Paul’s ministry. And he was not interested in patting himself on the back. Note what he writes in verse 13:

We also thank God constantly . . . that when you received the word of God . . . you accepted it not as the word of men but as what it really is, the word of God.

God gets all the glory.

Paul then adds a rather severe warning to false teachers who harm the flock of God. He writes, “[They are] hindering us from speaking to the Gentiles that they might be saved” (verse 16). And he warns that they will experience the wrath of God.

So, in this chapter, Paul answers accusations against his ministry, and he is able to defend himself by pointing to the reality of his history—his ministry among them. Paul is not pretending. He is not wearing fake medals on his uniform.

The truth is, Paul is not interested in wearing any ribbons and medals. He is not pretending to be a spiritually minded leader. He truly is interested in others, and all you have to do is check out his past record. And what do you find? The great apostle is interested in building these believers up in the faith and ultimately bringing glory to God.


[1] Andrew Fennell, “Study: Fake Job References and Resume Lies,” StandOutCV, October 2022, standout-cv.com.

[2] “Stolen Valor,” Home of the Heroes, homeoftheheroes.com.

[3] Richard Mayhue, 1 & 2 Thessalonians (Christian Focus, 1999), 78.

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