Articles, Bible Questions and Discipleship Guides

In the classic novel, Anne of Green Gables, Anne describes her desire to have a “bosom friend.” She describes this type of friendship this way: “A bosom friend—an intimate friend, you know—a really kindred spirit to whom I can confide my inmost soul.” 

This description sounds a lot like the way the prophet Samuel describes the friendship between David and Jonathan in 1 Samuel 18. 

After David defeats Goliath and is welcomed into the royal court, Samuel records, “The soul of Jonathan was knit to the soul of David, and Jonathan loved him as his own soul” (1 Samuel 18:1). 

David and Jonathan soon became brothers-in-law, after David married Jonathan’s sister. But their friendship went much deeper than typical “in-laws.” 

These two men are the defining model of friendship in the Bible. To this day, the idea of a “David and Jonathan friendship” is understood to be the deepest and most intimate friendship. 

In the next two articles, we are going to see several ways in which this friendship manifests itself through sacrificial actions and displays of generational loyalty. But first, let’s take a moment to consider the fact that their friendship was highly unlikely and unexpected. 

First, if anybody had reason to be jealous of David, it was Jonathan. Jonathan was the crown prince, the next in line for the throne of Israel. David is suddenly receiving honor and acclaim from the king and the crowds following his stunning victory over Goliath. 

Secondly, we have every reason to believe that David confided to his best friend how Samuel had anointed him as the next king of Israel. Can you imagine, having been raised your entire life for a crown, only to be told by your best friend that God has selected him as the next king? 

From this brief description of a godly friendship, there are at least three key lessons to apply to our friendships today. 

First, a true friend loves another as much as they love themselves. This is the same lesson Jesus teaches in John 15:13, “Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friend.” 

Second, a true friend supports another’s successes, even when it costs them greatly. Jonathan helped David evade the anger of Saul and become the next king, knowing that David’s throne was coming at his own expense. Jonathan’s friendship trumped his ambition. 

Lastly, a true friend isn’t afraid to be transparent. For everyone, but especially for men, a friendship like this requires vulnerability, openness, and honesty. While it might be difficult to allow someone else to know our weaknesses and our fears, there are few things in life more rewarding than a godly friendship. 

Do you have a friendship like this today? If not, prayerfully consider how you can begin to cultivate a “bosom friend.” Apply the principle from Proverbs 18:24, “A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly” (KJV). 

And while you’re at it, remember the last portion of that same verse which reminds us that we already have the closest of friends in Christ: “And there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.”