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Many years ago, my wife and I listened to a cassette tape— that ancient relic of history—while on a road trip in our car. Yes, they really did make car stereo systems with cassette tape players! Of course, the tape would eventually get stuck and require major surgery to disentangle! 

This particular cassette was the personal testimony of Charles Stanley, who pastored many years in Atlanta, Georgia. We listened to the heartbreaking account of Stanley’s childhood, as he was abused physically and emotionally by his stepfather. Stanley recounted an incident when his stepfather chased him around the dining room table while holding a knife. After years of shouting, arguing, and physical fighting, Stanley left home for good. 

Despite the absence of a godly father in his life, Charles Stanley accepted Christ as a teenager. 

I couldn’t help but think of Charles Stanley when I consider the events recorded in the life of Jonathan and David. Jonathan’s profound influence in David’s life faithfully encouraged David, even though Jonathan was cursed and threatened by his own father, King Saul. 

We’ll be spending the next couple months of our study exploring the deteriorating relationship between David and Saul. By the time we pick up our study next month, David will be a fugitive on the run, hotly pursued by the murderous king. 

But at this pivotal moment in the narrative, Jonathan’s enduring qualities as a leader, a friend, and a son are clear to observe. 

In 1 Samuel 19, King Saul can’t disguise his violent intentions against David any longer. He had tried to have David killed in less conspicuous ways, like assigning him near-impossible military tasks that David miraculously fulfilled. 

On several occasions, Saul hurled spears at David in fits of anger while David played the harp for the king. David, along with the rest of the court, considered these attacks to be the result of irrational fits of anger, not targeted assaults against David. 

But now, David was clearly the target. In fact, Jonathan receives a direct order from his father and king to kill his best friend. 

For the second time in our study, Jonathan takes a bold stand against his ungodly father, saying, “Let not the king sin against his servant David. … Why then will you sin against innocent blood by killing David without cause?” (1 Samuel 19:5). 

EVEN IN OUR CLOSEST RELATIONSHIPS, WE MUST CLEARLY CALL OUT SINFUL BEHAVIOR. 

This courageous stand seems to work. Saul relents, and David is welcomed back once again into the royal court. But the reconciliation is short-lived. 

After David mounts yet another victory against the Philistines, jealous King Saul hurls another spear at David, and this time, there’s no turning back. 

As David considers his future, Jonathan meets with David and the two men devise a plot to determine if Saul’s murderous intent is permanent, or just another short-term fit of rage. 

Following their strategic meeting, David’s absence at court is noticed by Saul, who lashes out in a fit of anger against Jonathan, saying, “Do I not know that you have chosen the son of Jesse to your own shame, and to the shame of your mother’s nakedness? For as long as the son of Jesse lives on the earth, neither you nor your kingdom shall be established. Therefore send and bring him to me, for he shall surely die” (1 Samuel 20:30-31). 

This tirade reveals the fact that Saul knows that David has been anointed as the next king of Israel. We don’t know exactly how Saul learned this, but it’s obvious that he now views David as a rival to his royal dynasty. 

Blinded by jealousy and fury, Saul attempts to murder his own son by hurling a spear at Jonathan. 

Jonathan dodges the spear and then goes out to inform David that he now has a permanent price tag on his head. 

When these two best friends meet and Jonathan gives David the news, “they kissed one another and wept with one another, David weeping the most” (1 Samuel 20:41). Other than a very brief meeting later in 1 Samuel, this is the last time these two men will see one another. Jonathan will soon return to the court of his father, and David will run for his life into the wilderness. 

Before they depart, they reaffirm their covenant to each other, saying, “‘The LORD shall be between me and you, and between my offspring and your offspring, forever’” (1 Samuel 20:42). 

Let’s glean some key descriptions of godly friendships that should mark our own relationships today. 

GODLY FRIENDSHIP IS UNITED BY A SHARED MISSION, NOT SHARED INTERESTS. 

If your closest friendships only exist on the golf course or in the sewing circle, you might be missing out on the blessing of deeper friendships. Our friendships should be defined by a shared calling to honor God and make Him known. 

GODLY FRIENDSHIP CAN WITHSTAND GEOGRAPHICAL OR PHYSICAL DISTANCE. 

You don’t have to lose a friend when one of you moves away or life gets busier. Jonathan and David will only meet once after this moment for the rest of their lives! But they never lost their commitment to one another. 

GODLY FRIENDSHIP IS BUILT TO WITHSTAND DIFFICULT CIRCUMSTANCES. 

Difficult circumstances are those times when we need friends the most. It’s easy to become isolated when surrounded by trials. But God’s delight and plan is for fellow church members, pastors and, believing friends to offer comfort and encouragement during difficult times. 

GODLY FRIENDSHIPS WILL LAST FOREVER. 

Have you ever thought about the fact that godly friendships are eternal? Neither geographical distance or even death can bring an end to the eternal fellowship we will have one day when we are reunited with our earthly friends. 

And don’t forget, throughout eternity you will make many new and lasting friendships. Frankly, we’ve just begun to experience God’s design for godly relationships. 

The best is yet to come!